Chapter 84 - Blame It On The Love

"Babe, I'm not feeling the best, I think I'm just going to stay home, is that okay?"   Monica asks Jon, as they sit in the living room and watch the morning news. 

Jon needs to be to the arena around four p.m., giving them just a little bit of the morning and a little of the early afternoon to spend together.

"What's the matter?" he asks, reaching up and feeling her forehead.  "'What doesn't feel good?"

"I have a headache, that's all." she confesses, for the first time since coming home.

"Do you want me to call the doctor?" he starts to get a little fidgety, "I can have one come here."

She shakes her head no and says, "I took some Tylenol, I'll be fine in a little bit.  You better go get your things together."  She reaches over and takes his hand.  "Your purple leather pants are in my closet, I grabbed them from the cleaners yesterday, and please, I beg you - don't wear that crocheted half shirt anymore."

"Why?" he questions with a look.  "What's wrong with it?"

"You look ridiculous in it.  Men don't wear half shirts."

"But the girls love it."

"You're better off wearing no shirt, than that one." she laughs, remembering how silly he looks in it.  But for some reason, he likes to wear it.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" he double checks as he gets off the couch, leaning over to kiss her.  As soon as the kiss is finished, she falls into his place and bunches up the pillow under her head.

"I'm sure.  Home turf, you don't need the distractions." she smiles, "I'll be fine.  I'll probably just take a bath and go to bed."

As he leaves the living room and heads toward the bedroom, he yells back to her, "What should I wear with my leather pants?"

"Anything but the half shirt.  One of mine would look better than that."

"You're no help." he disappears into the bedroom.  Monica can hear him opening and closing draws, clanging hangers back and forth and then she hears, "DAMN IT!"

She waits a second before she hollers, "What happened?"

He doesn't respond, so she gets up to see what happened.  He's in the bathroom wiping nail polish up off of the floor.  "This shit is all over the place, can't you keep your girl stuff contained to just one area?"

"No.  It's nail polish in the bathroom, where else should I put it?" she blurts back at him, feeling a little offended by his outburst.

"You have this shit all over the place, there's some next to the bed and I seen a bottle in the refrigerator the other day."

Monica kneels down and starts to help him clean the mess up, "I'll try to keep it together, but in the meantime, tell me what happened from the living room into here."

"Nothing."

"Um, you weren't an asshole when you walked out of the living room and now you're being a complete asshole."

He stops and looks at her, thinking about that she just said and it was then that he seen it, it was then that he realized it, "I'm sorry.  It's just the first show that you'll be missing in a long time."

"There will be many more."  She sits on the floor and smiles at him, "Many many more."

"I know, it will be tough looking out in the audience and see that you're not there. Even though you shouldn't."

"I'll be right here when you get back."  He leans into her, they are forehead to forehead, "Sound asleep, she adds.

Jon reaches up and caresses her cheek, paying attention to the color of her eyes, "Your eyes say that you are tired.  Your blue is dull."

"I am tired."  she rests her head on his shoulder, "Pretty beat actually, I think it's the headache."

"Do you want me to run you a bath?" he asks her, wanting to do anything that she needs him to do.

"No, I think I'll just climb into bed when you leave, or curl up on the couch."  She diverts her attention back to the polish that was left on the floor, "I'll get some nail polish remover and get this up."  She starts to stand, losing her balance a little, she falls onto Jon.  Naturally, he catches her and goes into panic mode.

"Hey, what's going on?" he looks at her, brushing the hair off of her face.  "Is it more than a headache?"

"I'm just a little light headed, that's all.  I'm fine." she gives him a fake grin, "Will you help me to bed?"

"Of course."

Jon helps her get situated in bed.  When she's a comfy and safe, he starts to get his bag ready for the night.  With his bag ready, he lays with her for awhile - he wanted her to be asleep when he left.


He decided on black leather pants and a black t-shirt. He was in no mood to look pretty.

When his bag is packed and it's time for him to leave, he kisses her goodbye and tells her that he will be home right after the show.  He promises no bars and no after party - he'll drive right home.  Monica was good with that.  "Babe, I'm sorry I can't stay with you, are you sure that you'll be okay?"

"Go." she smiles, "I'll be fine."

"I can have my mom come over and sit with you."

"That's not necessary, Jon.  I'll go to sleep and then you'll be home.  You better get going."  She looks at the time and then at him.  She can see that there is no place that he would rather be than tight where he was, but duty called and he was locked in - he had to go. 

He sits next to her on the bed, "I'll hurry."

"Do your job and give them what they paid for."

"I love you!"

"I love you too."

He kisses her goodbye again and leaves.  He is in a pissy mood because he's so worried about her.  He's noticed real subtle changes in her in the week that they have been home.  He didn't bring them to her attention, because he didn't want to worry her or scare her.  But now he's really worried.  When he adds the subtle changes to the headache and the light headedness, he really starts to worry.

On the drive to Giants Stadium he makes a mental note to call the doctor in the morning, whether she wanted to or not - her follow up appointment is being moved up.  He's not taking her, I'm okay anymore.

Sound check was miserable for the guys.  Jon's perfection kick was in full mode and he was next to impossible to deal with.  They made it through Runaway, She Don't Know Me and Tokyo Road and Jon felt they were done.  They guys looked at one another like Jon was an extraterrestrial, but let him walk off pouting.  They played for a few more minutes and they all met backstage.

Showtime and Monica is all that he can think of.  He tried to call the house, but she didn't answer, kicking himself in the ass for not wanting a phone in the bedroom.  After three tries, he gave up and silently asks God to take care of her until he can get there. 

The lights go out, and they all take their places.  Before the lights go on, the fans hear the opening notes of Runaway and the place rattles to the rafters.  The crowd goes crazy and then the lights go on.  They are even more frenzied.  That does nothing for Jon.  He tires his hardest to get into it, but he can't.  His band mates, his brothers see it and Richie walks up to him and says, "Go take a break, I'll take lead for a song."

Jon looks at him, moved by his gesture and nods his head.  When Runaway is finished, Jon leaves the stage under the cover of darkness and Richie takes his place at the lead mic.  When the lights go back up, the crowd is amusingly confused. 

Bon Jovi - minus Jon do a new version of Tokyo Road and the crowd loved it.  When Tokyo Road is finished, Jon makes another grand entrance. He needed the few minutes alone to collect himself and his thoughts - to put his focus where it needed to be.

Show is over and they are all backstage, whooping and hollering, being fools and grilling Jon about his attitude.  Jon didn't feel the need to explain the whole thing to them, but when it was just the 5 of them, he told his brothers that there is something Monica and that he's very worried about her. 

That set Richie off, "What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know, I have no idea."

"Is that why she's not here?" Richie asks him, "I thought for sure she'd be here tonight."

"She had a headache and before I left, she almost passed out.  I think there is something wrong with her, really."  Jon states.  The guys can see it in his face and in his body language.

Tico takes command and tells Jon, "Get home to her.  There is no need for you to be here.  We can handle the rest of this."

Jon tries to rub the stress from his face.  It didn't work.