Chapter 141 - We'll Trace Our Footprints In The Sand

The ride back to Sayreville was long, even more so because it was quiet.  Little was said between the two of them.  Jon knew not to rock the boat too much because he knows that she could get on a plane and leave at anytime.  As they enter Sayreville Jon asks Monica, "Are you hungry?"

Shaking her head, "No, I snacked on the plane, I'm good."

"Do you mind if we stop at the diner?  I'm starving and we have nothing at home."

She looks over at him, "Can we get it to go?  I don't really want to deal with the public right now."  She's firm in what she says.

"What public?  It's the diner." he chuckles, merely trying to make light of a very dark situation.

She blasts him, "Get it to go."  Her eyes roll and her posture firms.  

They pull into the diner parking lot and before he gets out of the car to order his food, he pauses and asks her, "Are you sure you don't want anything?  There really isn't anything at the house."

"I can't eat Jon."  

He sits there for a few seconds and figures out what she means.  He goes in and orders and thinks it's best that he just wait for his food inside the diner.  He watches Monica from the window.  He can see her irritation rising with each moment that passes.  He's wondering what she could be thinking.

He's wondering if this could really be the end of them.  Has he screwed up beyond repair?

Monica sits in the car and curses Richie under her breath.  She knows that if he would have picked her up, she'd be home by now.  After the flight from Tokyo, all she wanted to do was go home.  She knows that she's over reacting, she's mad at Jon and that exacerbates everything in her mind.  

With food in hand, he hops in the car and tells her, "Sherry says HI."  Sherry, long time waitress at the diner, friend to both noticed that Jon was alone and asked why.  He just told her that Monica was waiting in the car.  

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Being home together was a little more difficult than either of them thought it would be.  He wants to hug and kiss all over her, and she'd rather die than be touched by him, at this point.  When he finishes eating, in front of the TV, he heads to find her in the bedroom.  When he seen she wasn't there, he went to look for her.  He thought she was unpacking and cleaning up from the flight, but he was wrong.  He finds her in her dark room, rolling through rolls of film.  She's pretty into what she's looking for, so she doesn't hear the door swing through.  "Do you want to talk?"  he whispers, walking in next to her.  

Monica is leaning against the counter, arms up looking through the film on the film board.  Jon can see that it's shots of a Bon Jovi show, but he had no idea what one.  He leans in to look closer.  "This is MSG."  she tells him, scrolling at the pace that she needs, not caring if he can keep up or not.  

"What are you looking through those for?" he questions.  

Monica doesn't answer, she just keeps looking.  Jon doesn't push, he just stays close and looks with her.  Monica stops on one shot.  A shot she knew she had.  "There."  she points hard with her finger.  "Do you see that?"  she asks him, without even opening her mouth.  Jon can hear that she's upset.  

"See what?"

"You and that woman."  she snaps, "look Jon."  she taps the glass again, hard, trying to make her point.  

"Ok, I see her, what about her?  What about the picture?"  he can't see what she's trying to say.  He has no idea where this is going.  "What are you showing me?"

Monica drops the film, it falls on the counter, "That's you and Erica.  How could you have not known her? "

"Was I supposed to?"

"I was thinking that maybe if you had remembered that you knew her, you wouldn't have slept with her.  How can you not remember an encounter like that?  In that picture, she's practically ripping your head off!"

Jon stammers, "Mon, that happens at every show.  How can I remember any one of them?"

"She was there with me."

"That I don't remember!" he defends himself.  "The MSG shows were crazy and scary all at the same time.  We were lucky to get in and out of there alive."

"She had dinner with us in catering on the first night." she barks even louder.

Jon lowers his head, shaking it no, "I'm sorry babe.  I don't remember her, I'm sorry."

"Not at all?" Monica walks away from him, spinning through the dark room door.  Jon is close behind.

"Babe, talk to me." he pleads with her, right on her heals, "Don't shut me out."

Monica stops and turns to face him, "She might not have been the best of friends but your actions have caused me to lose my husband,  lose a friend and now I look bad in the press and in the eyes of my boss.  People were talking about it on the street in Osaka.  Do you have any idea how huge you guys are in Japan?  I had to wear sunglasses and a hat to hide, Jon.   I was humiliated and ashamed."

"Ashamed of what?"

"Ashamed of my husband, you do know that he cheated?" she gets snarky with him, "He cheated on me with a woman that tours with anyone that will take her."

"This isn't about her, or the type of person that she is.  This is about what I've done to you and if you can ever forgive me." he calmly states.  "this is about if we can ever get back to where we were."

Monica plops down on the couch, "I don't know Jon.  What you've done has hurt me to my core.  It hurt every bone in my body, with every breath that I take, it hurts.  You have crushed me!"

"Will you at least let me try?"

"I don't know." she honestly tells him, "I don't know if I can do it.  Not right now anyway."

"Then why did you come home?" he is confused, he's on edge and he doesn't understand.  

"Like I told you, Rick sent me home to deal with this."

"So let's deal with it"

Monica sits there and looks at the pictures and the gifts that he has bought her that are on the mantle.  She can see the smiles on their faces and she remembers the happy times, but all of that is now shadowed by the extra marital affair.  "Do you remember all that we have been through, focus on the bad for right now."  She's decided to engage with him, until her heart can no longer take it.  "Focus on the struggles we have had since we got married."

"Okay....." he jests, cowering beside her almost, knowing that this was not going to end well.