Chapter 127 - These Five Words

"Are you kidding me?"  Monica bellows at him, "Do you really think that I'm going to edit that out?  If you do, you're crazy or the Aqua Net has done a number on your brain."

"You have to take it out."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do." he snaps at her.  "You don't have authorization to use that, Monica."

"I don't need it."

"That's my song." he barks back at her, feeling with all that he has that he's right on this subject.  "you had no business using it."

Monica can only look at him, unsure of where this attitude was coming from.  She's never seen him angry on this level, well, not at her anyway.  "What is your problem?  Why are you ruining my night with this bullshit?  Can you just let me have my night, let me shine in the spotlight for one god damn night?  Why does everything have to be about you?"  she's getting upset, feeling her face get red as she talks, "Why do you always do this Jon?"

"Do what?" he looks over at her, noticing that she's pissed, but again, he thinks he's right.

"Why couldn't you wait and throw your tantrum tomorrow?  Why do you have to do it right now, tonight?"

Jon can't see why she's getting so upset.  "Monica, you used a Bon Jovi song without permission."

"That's all I fucking used, it was a Bon Jovi film, Jon.  You didn't give me permission to use ANY of them, I just used them.  Why are you so worked up about I'll Be There For You?"

"That's my song.  That song has meaning to us, to me."  he finally starts to admit what's going on in her his head.  "That is something from you to me and me to you."

"Making it perfect for why I used it."

"Not with all of the bullshit we went through."

"The song you wrote represents you and me.  It shows your fans that you have a heart, that you're not the asshole that you're being right now." she says, unable to look at him, "I'm not taking it out.  And better yet, the discussion about it is over."

"Monica....."

"Stop, Jon."  she looks out the passenger window, watching the people as they pass by.  "I'm doing nothing to the film.  Tomorrow I'll call the production company and tell them to go ahead and manufacture - I'm releasing it as is.  If you want to sure me, sue me."  She pauses and inhales deeply, "I'll take it out when a judge tells me to."

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They arrived home just before 2am.  Once inside, Monica kicks off her heals and starts to unzip her gown.  Unable to undo it all of the way, she walks up to Jon who has his head buried deep in the refrigerator and asks, "Can you unzip me?"  She turns with her back to him.  He closes the fridge door, gently moves her long hair out of the way and unzips her dress.

"I'm sorry." he whispers in her ear.  "I'm being as asshole."

Monica turns on her heals and smiles at Jon.  She can see in his face that he is sorry, she can see that he just might believe that he was being an asshole.  "Sometimes you just need to let me to do what I do.  I don't do anything that would hurt you or your band.  You know that, Jon."

"I do know that." he reaches up and pushes her hair back off her shoulders.  He gently starts to slide her dress down her shoulders, "I know that you only do what's best for me and my career - you always have.  It's just that the song resonates with me quite heavily.  Those are words that you said to me, and when I put them with my words - it's a commitment that I feel to you, to only share them at the right time."

Monica reaches up and stops him from undressing her, 'Babe, can you think of a better way to share that other than how I did?  The song is you.  I made sure that it was in a pivotal part in the film and I think I captured what you were trying to say, with the footage."

"You did and like I said, I'm sorry." he leans in, kisses her bottom lip, "Can you forgive me?"  His hands slide around her waist.  

"I can.  But will I, is the question."  she kind of chuckles - leaning back into him. resting her forehead on his lips.  "I needed that song for that part of the film."

"It's just such a raw time for us, for me." he admits, "To hear those words and see that footage, it was a sucker punch."

"Then why didn't you make the argument about that.  Why did you have to make it about using a song without your permission?"  She takes a step back making sure he can see her face.  "Why didn't you just tell me that it hurt you?"

"I don't know." he steps into her, trying to hook her with his right hand.  His head cocked and his sexy smile, "I guess because I'm supposed to be a bad ass."

"Bad asses don't make their pregnant wife feel like shit about something and then admit that the issue is deeper than that, Jon."  Monica is getting a little irritated.  She's getting upset by the fact that Jon has issues about things that have happened to them, but has never said anything to her.  "Do you need to talk?" she asks him, noticing that maybe he has issues that are unresolved about that time in their life.  Monica turns to go get undress, over her shoulder she adds, "Are you okay, babe?"

Jon follows her to their bedroom.  In the doorway he stops and watches her slide out of her dress.  Once Monica has the dress off, she's standing their in her strapless bra and panties, holding the designer gown in her hand.  "You're glowing." he states, looking at the woman that means the world o him, "You're absolutely beautiful."

"Thank you." she winks at him, "But don't change the subject."  She makes her way to the closet, hanging up the dress that she knows she won't wear for a while, if ever again.  

"I'm not changing the subject.  Just making a statement." he tells her.  "You are breathtaking."

"Yeah, yeah.  Jon, do you need to talk to someone?"

"I'm talking to you."

"You know what I mean." she kind of barks at him reaching up to unfasten her bra.  "Do you need to talk to someone about our accident and about losing the baby?" She slides on her ride, tying the tie in the front.  

"No.  Do you?"

Monica stops and looks at him, watching the twitches in his face.  He starts to fidget with his jacket sleeves, avoiding eye contact with her.  He doesn't want her to see that he's not being truthful.  "There is no shame in needing to talk to someone, babe.  Sometimes me or the guys aren't enough, I know that."

"I don't need to talk to anyone, baby.  It was just seeing the stuff that you filmed and hearing that song being played.  It kind of took me back and hurt a little bit."  His eyes lock with hers, "I'm fine, really."

Monica makes her way to her husband, still standing in the doorway.  Slowly she starts to unbutton his shirt, needing to feel his skin, needing to smell his scent.  "I know what you mean.  Editing it was really tough for me, but I thought that the footage and song were perfect - prefect to showcase that time in your life, that time in the bands life."

"All of it was great." he confesses, letting his shirt and jacket fall off his arms.  "You did a great job and you will no doubt be a successful film maker, that part just hit me close to home."  He grabs his wife and pulls her to him, holding her close.  Monica rests her head on his bare chest, listening to his heartbeat.  

"It hit me close too, but it's helped make us what we are today.  Stronger than we've ever been.  Closer than we've ever been and on a solid foundation."