Chapter 82 - A Silent Prayer For Faith Departed

He walks up next to her and looks into her eyes, "Who am I?"  His heart is in his stomach and it's broken.  "Do you really not know who I am?"

She smiles at him, "I know who I am, just teasing."  she mumbles, still half asleep.  He sits on the bed next to her, his arm goes around her and he pulls her close.  He kisses the side of her head over and over, squeezing her tighter with each kiss.

"What do you remember?" he asks her, not letting her go.

She yawns and stretches a little, trying to sit up more in bed.  Jon stands up and helps her, but as she lifts her head, it starts to throb.  "Ouch, my head hurts."  She reaches up and feels the bandage that wraps her head, "Wow.  How bad is it?"  She's rubbing her hands around her head, feeling the gauze and pausing at the really sore spot. 

"Do you want me to get the doctor?"  he has her hand in his, squeezing it.

She slightly shakes her head no and says, "No."  She can feel the fog settle in to her head, "How long have I been here?"

Jon feels the need to sit with her, still holding her hand,  "It's been almost 5 weeks."

"I've been asleep for 5 weeks?" the look on her face is one of disbelief, she can't believe what she just heard, "5 weeks Jon?"

He says, "Yeah, 5 weeks babe."

"She then reaches down and feels her belly.  In a panic, not feeling the baby bump she asks him, "How the baby?  Is the baby okay?"

Instantly she sees the look on his face and knows that it's not good, she knows that her worst fear has come true.  "We lost the baby."  was all he could tell her and as soon as the words fell out of his mouth, she was a mess.  Hysterical and in a lot of pain.

"We miscarried?" she manages to mumble.  Her head is killing her, "How did it happen?  Was it from the accident?"

He scoots in next to her, laying with her on his side.  His hands works it's way to her belly and he says, "I think you've heard enough for one day.  Why don't you rest."

"How did we lose the baby?" her head rests on his shoulder.  He reaches up and holds her face, feeling her tears.

He takes a deep breath and tells her, "When they had to operate, you started to bleed out and they had to act fast.  They said that you were spotting before you went in to surgery."

"Why did they operate?"

"You had blood pooling and too much intracranial pressure, they had to get rid of the blood and the pressure, so they drilled a hole."

With tears still rolling down her face, she concedes and asks Jon, "Will you get the doctor?  I need something for this headache."

Springing to his feet, he says "I'll be right back" and left her to go get the doctor.  At the nurses station, he demanded that he sees the doctor that operated on her, plus the one that could give her pain relief, right now.  The nurses said that they would call the neurosurgeon and send the one that was on rotations in.

Jon goes back to Monica's bedside and takes a seat in the chair next to her, and waits with her for the doctor.  "Is one coming?"

He nods his head yes and adds, "I also had them call in your surgeon so he can see that you're awake."

"Did they think that I wouldn't wake up?"

"We never gave up hope."

"Have you been here the whole time?"

Nodding again, "I have only left your side to shower and have a smoke the occasional cigarette."

"Is anyone else here?"

"Not anymore.  Our parents were here, your brother, my brothers and the band - but they left a couple days ago, I told them I'd call with any change."

"How was my mom doing?" Monica asks.  "Does she know that we lost the baby?"

"Yeah, everyone knows."

"Everyone?"

"Press and everyone." he waits for it, but she doesn't say a word.  He can see that she's not happy with the world knowing their business, but what could she do?

She lays her head back and rubs her eyes, inhaling deeply she tells him, "I hate the smell of this place."

He laughs at her, "When you're here long enough, you get used to it."

She reaches over and runs her hand down his long mane, he can feel that she's weak with her touch, "I'm awake, why don't you go get some rest?"

Just then, the attending walks in, "Monica, you're awake!!"

She looks at Jon.  Jon tells her, "He's the one that will take your pain away."

"I'm Dr. Davis, I'm the attending on tonight.  The nurse tells me that you have some pain?"

"Yes, my head and my leg."  She pulls the blanket back and looks at the blah white cast that is keeping her broken leg in place.

"Are you allergic to anything?" the doctor asks before he reaches into her pocket and pulls over a dose of Vicodin for her.

"NO. Nothing that I know of." she tells him.  He hands her the pills and Jon gets her a cup of water.  She takes the medicine and lays back in the bed, closing her eyes, she tells Jon 'Thank you."

The doctor gives her a quick exam and he's pleased with what he sees, "Other than your leg and your head, are you having pain anywhere else?"

"No."

"Are you sick to your stomach or feeling woozy?" he questions, as he jots stuff down on her chart. 

"No, maybe a little light headed." she admits, looking over at Jon, who is standing strong at her bedside, holding her hand. 

"Are you sleepy?  Do you feel like you could go back to sleep?"

"I feel drowsy, is that normal?"

"Yeah.  You won't stay awake for long."

"I won't?  Why?" she asks him, wondering how he can predict the future. 

"It's normal."  He's still writing in her chart, without looking up at her, "Do you feel like you could eat something?"

Without thinking, her hand finds it's way to her belly and she says, "I am hungry."  And then she's reminded about losing the baby, she's still pretty foggy and her memory is still half asleep. 

The doctor flips her chart closed and tells her, "I'll have the nurse bring you some jello and some juice."  He directs his attention to Jon, "Can I get you anything Mr. Bongiovi?"

Jon just shakes his head no.

"Dr . Carrier should be here anytime.  He called as I was walking in." he turns to leave and adds, "I'll have the nurse bring you something to eat."

"Thank you doctor."  Monica replies, as he leaves. 

With the doctor gone, Jon puts a knee on her bed and smiles at her, "You have no idea how much I have missed you."

Monica can only smile, "I'm sure you did.  I'm sorry I was asleep for so long."

He leans over and kisses her, "You are not to blame.  I knew you would wake up when you were ready."

"What happened?" she mouse's to him, she's very dazed and really has no recollection. 

"We were hit by a car." he tells her, turning to sit on the edge of the bed, watching her face as he tells her, "We were just married and were walking down the street and out of no where comes this car and plows us down as we crossed the street."

"On purpose?" she baffled.  "Someone hit us?"

"I don't think we were targeted, but whoever did it hasn't been caught." he tells her, leaving out the important details, hoping to just let it lie until she is 100% again.

"So we were hit and just left there?"

"Yeah.  A passerby called an ambulance."

"Were you hurt?" she asks him, with tears rolling down her cheeks.  "Are you okay?"

He smiles at her, "I'm fine."

"You were hit by a car and you're fine?" she can't believe that, knowing how injured she was.  She knows that there is no way he walked away from that unscathed.

"I had a broken leg, they took the cast off two days ago.  I also had a sore back and some scratches and bruising.  Nothing serious."

"A cast for five weeks, is that long enough, Jon?" she asks in her mother tone.  "

"They had to do it, or I was going to."

"Why?"

"I was sick of hopping around and it stopped hurting, so it had to come off."  In her eyes he can see that she's confused and he can see that she's tired.  He decided to try the tried and true method of getting her back to sleep.  All he needed to do was hold her close and rub her arm, he loved doing it as much as she enjoyed him doing it.  He worked his way in next to her and asked, "Are you getting any relief from the medicine, yet?"

"A little." she cozied up into his embrace and followed up with, "I'm sorry about the baby."