Chapter 153 - Another Long and Senseless Fight?

"When you were with her, did you think about me?' is what she asked as they pulled the duvet down on the bed.  

Jon didn't see it coming.  It kind of took him out at the knees.  He looks at her across the bed and can see this is something that she wants to talk about, he can even see that she needs to talk about it.

He kneels on the bed and reaches for her hand.  She obliges and kneels on the bed, facing him.  The room is dimly lit but she can see the fear on his face.  Well, what she sees as fear.  "Monica, I was so drunk I don't remember any of it."

"None of it?" she asks with question in her tone.

"My mind goes blurry in the bar.  I remember doing body shots off a stripper with Richie, from there I woke up with a strange woman in my bed and you calling me."  he says to her, with remorse in his voice.  "When you called, you woke me up and I seen this women in my bed."  He repositions on the bed, not feeling so guard.  He's feeling a little relief that she finally can talk about it.

"Then what did you do?"

"I grabbed the phone, went into the bathroom and hoped like hell she didn't wake up and say something so you'd hear her voice."  he's frank with her.  "My heart was racing a mile a minute, not only was I extremely hung over, I couldn't believe what I had done to us, done to you."

"Have you talked to her since?" Monica starts to let her guard down.  She lays next to Jon, on her side facing him, seeing that he's willing to talk now.

"I have not.  I have no desire to talk to her or ever see her again."  he confesses, surprised by her line of questioning.  He was thinking maybe she'd want more details about the night, but she went right to a trust question.  "I honestly couldn't tell you what she looks like.  When I got off the phone with you, I woke her up and kicked her out.  All I really remember was that she's a blonde."

"What did Richie say?" again, another question that's out of line from the thought pattern.

Jon gives her an inquisitive look, "What do you mean?"  Jon's mind goes back to the day in question.  

"When you told Richie, what did he say?"  Monica can't help but wonder how her best friend managed to keep this secret.  She can't help but wonder when the childhood loyalty was trumped by band loyalty.  "He had to have been pissed."

"Did he ever tell you that I punched him in the face, over this?"

"Because you cheated on me?"  Jon can see a slight smile creep over her face.

"Before he found out.  We were on the plane that morning and he kept hounding me over my attitude."

"But he didn't know you had just slept with someone?"

Jon lays back on his back and mentally prepares for his response.  "I was super late getting down to the lobby.  Richie came to my room and banged on the door.  I think he knew something was up because I wouldn't open the door.  Erica was still in there.  When I finally made it down stairs, I have no doubt they all could tell what I had done."

"Did they ask?" she wonders.

He rolls his head and looks at her, into her eyes, "I left the bar without Richie.  I never do that, you know that.  We never go anywhere alone when we're on the road."

"But you did." she reminds him, but not in a parental way, just as a matter of fact.

He nods his head a little, "I did.  On the plane he asked me why and then he asked me who I left with.  I told him to leave it alone, leave me alone and he wouldn't.  He kept guessing on who I left with and when I wouldn't play along with his 50 questions, he asked me who was going to tell you; me or him?"

Monica's eyes go wide.

"And that's when I punched him."

"So he could tell, and yet never said a word to me."

It's then Jon sits up and faces her, "Monica, don't be upset with him.  He didn't know anything."

"Bullshit, he knew."  She plops down on her back, making sure her hand was on her husband, "You may not have told him, but he knew."

"He suspected, but didn't know until later.  I swear."

"What did he say then?" she's heavy on Richie and what he knew, when he knew it, "He's supposed to be my best friend and has yet to say anything to me about it at all."

Jon starts to rub her bare belly, lightly circling her belly button, "To be fair, you guys really haven't seen each other and not only that, it's not anything I'm sure he wants to get involved with."

"Doesn't matter.  I just wish he would have reached out to me."

"Maybe he doesn't know how to talk to you about it.  I mean, he's kind of in a spot with being your best friend and my band mate.  Maybe he'd rather stay out of it?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "Maybe?" and she goes quiet.  Jon let's her think her thoughts for a moment before he leans over to kiss her.  Her hands go up and she stops him.  "Who all knows about it?"

"Everyone in our lives know.  That's what we need to believe."

"WHAT?" she shoots off the bed.  "Everyone knows?"

"Babe, calm down, not everyone in the world, everyone in our immediate lives know."

"You told your parents, why did you do that?" she's more embarrassed now than ever before.  "How could you tell your parents?"

He gets off the bed and walks to her, his hands slide around on her hips, "I needed someone to talk to and you know it goes no where when it goes to Ma."

"You told your parents." she simply states.  She's mortified when she thinks about that conversation, Jon telling his parents of his infidelity.  "Did you use protection?" she mumbles, unable to look at him.

"Yes."

"You're sure?" she still can't look t him, but she doesn't push him away.  She loves the way she feels in his arms.  "100% sure, babe."

"How do you know?"  she now looks him in the eye, "Being that drunk, how do you know?"

He takes a moment and composes his response, to make himself not look like a complete asshole, "As I was throwing her clothes at her and telling her she had to leave, I remember seeing a wrapper on the floor."

Monica bows her head and rests it on his bare chest, "I want to get passed this Jon, I really do and if my questions are too much, I'm sorry - but they're things I need to know."

"I'll tell you anything you want to know, you know that." he kisses the top of her head, "I'll do whatever it takes to get back to something that resembles what we were before it happened."

"Do you blame me?"

"For me cheating?" his hand goes under her chin and he raises her head to look at her, "There is nothing you could have done that would ever make me do that."

"It happened after the shower shoot, were you getting even with me, be honest."

"Babe, not intentionally.  I can't say if it was driven by my subconscious because of the timing, but I have never ever wanted to cheat on you.  I would never break your heart on purpose.  I would have never wanted this to happen to us."

"You were pissed about the shower shoot, you have to admit that."

He gives her a little chuckle, "I was.  I was beyond livid when you told me you were going to do it."

"So you can see why I'm wondering if it was to get even."

"I went to the bar that night angry over the whole thing, made a smart ass comment to Richie at the venue and woke up with some strange woman in my bed."  he let's his hand fall at his side, "In fact, I said something like I was going to see who I could find to do body shots off, but you know me babe, that's not me."

"But it is, you did just that." she reaches for his hand, "and I forgive you, Jon.  I just know that it's going to take some time.  Will you weather the storm with me?"  she pulls him to her, "It's going to get rocky at times, but if we are committed, I know we can do it."

"I'll do whatever it takes!"  he pulls her closer to him and kisses her deep.  "How about tomorrow is day 1 for us, fresh start?"